


Just Let Me Stay Here By Your Side

by GinnyK



Series: Two Lost Souls on the Highway of Life [5]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gibbs needs to talk, Jack needs to sit quietly, Late Night Conversations, Texting, post ep for In the Wind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22214473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: Post ep for In the Wind.  Jack wants to be supportive.  Gibbs, as usual, wants to be left alone. Can both happen at the same time?
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane
Series: Two Lost Souls on the Highway of Life [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1351900
Comments: 30
Kudos: 154





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As with my previous story, Moments That the Words Don't Reach, the title comes from a line in the song It's Quiet Uptown from the musical Hamilton.

Jack carefully crept out of the conference room, not feeling the need to intrude on Phineas’ reunion with his aunt and uncle. She caught Gibbs’ eye briefly, giving a little smile and to her surprise getting one back from him. Once in the hallway she let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She set a neutral look on her face and headed for her office, hoping to make it there unnoticed.

“Everything going okay in there?” McGee asked as she rounded the corner and nearly slammed into her teammate. He caught her by the shoulders, steadying her for a second. So much for my clean get away, Jack thought to herself.

“Yeah. It’s good, Finn is ecstatic and so are his aunt and uncle. They’re good people,” she said as she leaned against the wall, not sure of her ability to stand still at the moment. She was feeling a combination of a bundle of energy and pure exhaustion, a hard to define feeling.

“You checked, I’m sure,” Tim muttered, unnecessarily. Jack just nodded. He knew there was no way she wouldn’t have done her due diligence to make sure Phineas would be safe. The boy had quickly gained a spot in the hearts of all of the NCIS agents, his future safety and happiness were extremely important to all of them. “And how is everyone else in the room?” McGee asked carefully.

“Everyone else?” Jack smirked, knowing full well there was only one other person in the room. Tim just nodded. “Okay, I guess. I assume he’s full of relief, sadness, guilt and a dozen other feelings he’d be hard pressed to identify. I know he’s not in the mood to talk and I….”

“Jack, exactly when is Gibbs ever in the mood to talk?” Tim smirked as he held his arm out to her to escort her back to her office.

“Never,” Jack snorted as she took Tim’s arm. “But I don’t know how much I can get away with pushing him right now. I feel like I’m teetering on being a royal pain in the ass in his eyes. We had a talk right after the last time Ziva disappeared. He said he needed time and space. I think I was able to do that, until he killed Sahar, of course. It’s been a hell of a 24 hours. I think deep down he knows I’m there for him, that he can come to me if he needs anything,” Jack sighed as they reached her door.

“But you’re not sure you can just sit around and wait for that to happen?” McGee guessed as he pushed Jack’s door open.

“Exactly,” Jack muttered as she flicked on the light and leaned against the front of her desk. 

“Mind?” Tim asked as he pointed to the bowl of lollipops on the corner of the desk.

“Never and I won’t analyze your color choice,” she replied with a little smile.

“Good. What are you going to do now?” McGee asked as he pulled the cellophane wrapper off the green lollipop and shoved it in his pocket. He put the candy in his mouth and stood behind on of the chairs, hands braced against the back.

“Hang out here for a little while. Check my email and messages, wait for some kind of sign as to what I should be doing next. Basically, I have no idea,” Jack admitted with a sigh.

“Want some advice?” he asked.

“Sure,” Jack sighed as she sat down at her desk, leaning back and propping up her feet on the corner.

“Let him be. If he’s going to self-destruct, there’s nothing that will stop him. I’ve seen it before and I’m sure I see it again. Just be there to pick up the pieces. I know that doesn’t quite sound like something you’d prefer to do, but trust me,” Tim said as he crossed the room to look out the window at the night. 

Jack took a moment to consider his suggestion. “Not exactly my first choice of a course of action, obviously. I think I can do it, or at least I can keep my mouth shut. Not sure I can do it from my living room while he’s God knows where, doing God knows what,” Jack muttered as she wiped at her tired eyes

“Yeah, sitting around waiting for the self-destruction might be a little too much for you,” Tim replied with a little smile.

“I don’t know. Guess I’ll just sit here waiting for a sign,” Jack chuckled. “It’s late, go home to that beautiful family of yours.”

“Okay. Text or call if you need anything, anytime,” Tim said with a smile.

“I will, have a good night," Jack said as he headed out. He got a few steps down the hall before sticking his head back in. “I think your ‘sign’ is coming your way,” he said without further explanation.

Jack got up and peeked her head out in the hall. Walking towards her were “the boys” as she’d been calling them recently. Gibbs was walking slowly behind Finn who was all but running towards her. Jack managed to kneel down a little before the boy launched himself at her. 

“Hey buddy,” Jack whispered as she hugged him. 

“He couldn’t leave without saying goodbye,” Gibbs said, as if things really needed an explanation. “I’ll be up in the bullpen when you’re done, Phineas.

“Okay, Jethro Gibbs,” Finn answered with a quick fist bump.

“Well, I’m glad you stopped by,” Jack said as she took Finn by the hand an led him into her office. He took a look around, his gaze immediately stopping on the bowl of lollipops. Jack gave him a handful and he shoved them in the pocket of his hoodie. “All set to go home with your aunt and uncle?”

“Yeah,” Finn muttered as he slid into one of the chairs in front of Jack’s desk. “What about Jethro Gibbs?” he asked. “Will you look after him?”

“Of course I will, sweetie,” Jack assured him as she ran her fingers through his dark hair. “And you’re not going to be that far away. I’m sure you’ll get to see Gibbs.”

“And you too?” he asked, sniffing a little.

“Yep. Here, take this,” Jack said as she quickly wrote her cell number on one of her cards. “You can text me whenever you want. Maybe someday we can convince him to get a smart phone. Until then, I’ll let you in on a secret, he does have a laptop and an email address,” she said as she added the address to the back of her card. “He doesn’t let just anybody have this,” she said with a little smirk.

“Cool. I should go find him and my aunt and uncle,” Finn said as he slid off the chair. He wrapped his arms around Jack as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.  
“Bye, Jack,” he whispered as his tears started.

“Good bye, Phineas, you take care,” Jack said through tears of her own.

The pair went up to the bullpen hand in hand to find everyone. Finn and his family headed out a few minutes later, leaving Gibbs and Jack alone.

“I’m going to meet them at the house so he can pick up whatever he has at my place and I’ll help pack up some of his things at his house,” Gibbs said as he stood in front of Jack, hands shoved in the pockets on the navy hoodie he was wearing. He was reluctant to meet her gaze. He knew Jack would want to talk and that was at the bottom his list of things he wanted to do at that moment. 

“Okay, make sure he checks under the bed and I think you should give him a flannel shirt to take with him,” Jack suggested as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her jeans to keep from reaching out to Gibbs.

“Yeah, good idea,” Gibbs whispered, still keeping his gaze on his scuffed boots. “Look, I’m not going to be good company, and I don’t see myself talking any time soon. But I know you, and you’re not going to want to just go home and leave me alone. So, if you want to come over and just be close by, I can live with that,” he muttered, looking up just enough so his blue eyes met her brown ones.”

“I’d be happy to stay by your side and I will do so quietly, promise,” Jack whispered, crossing her heart. “I’m going to stop by home and pick up some stuff. Call if you need me to pick up anything.” She got a quick nod from Gibbs as he headed for the elevator. 

******  
Jack grabbed her bag from her office and headed home. Ducky called as she was leaving and she talked to him on the drive home. The good doctor basically gave the same advice Tim had given her. He also gave the offer for her to call or text at any time.

Once she stepped into her foyer, Jack’s energy left her and she just stood there for a minute. Her text alert went off and she pulled her phone from her back pocket. She found a picture of Finn and Gibbs. The boy was wrapped up in a familiar blue flannel shirt and holding a yellow pocketknife, on which Gibbs had scribbled “Rule #9” in sharpie. Jack smiled and sent back a quick reply before heading to pack a bag.

******

When she arrived at Gibbs’ house he was nowhere to be found. She checked the basement, it was dark. When she climbed the stairs, she heard the shower running. Jack hesitated a minute before tossing her bag in his room. She flicked on the light to the other bedroom. There was one remaining Lego creation on the shelf, a boat. The quilt was a bit messed up, Gibbs must have taken her suggestion and checked under the bed. She straightened it out as she heard the shower turn off. 

“Don’t come out naked,” she called over her shoulder.

“Noted,” came the reply from the bathroom.

Jack made the decision to just head downstairs as she heard the door to the bathroom open.

Gibbs walked out of the bathroom, surprised to hear Jack walking down the stairs as he did. A small smile did come across his face when he saw her bag tossed in the corner of his room as it had been countless times over the past year. He threw on some pajamas and headed downstairs, not knowing what to expect. While Jack had made a promise to basically leave him alone, he wasn’t really sure she was capable of doing so.

“Hey,” he muttered as he found her in the kitchen.

“Hey yourself. Finn sent me the picture of the two of you. Very sweet to give him a knife,” Jack said as she motioned towards the coffee maker.

Gibbs nodded towards the counter and she pulled the can of coffee out of the cabinet. “Seemed appropriate to give him a knife,” he said simply as he hopped up to sit on the counter, the same one he’d teased many an agent about sitting on. “Did you have dinner?” he asked Jack.

“I don’t think so, I’m not even sure at the moment,” she replied with a shrug of her shoulders. 

“I know I didn’t eat. There’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes in the fridge from a couple of nights ago,” Gibbs offered.

“Great,” Jack answered, happy he was at least making small talk and that he was hungry for real food. “I’ll get it,” She said as he started to slide to the floor. Jack heated up the food and they sat down at the kitchen table to eat. 

They made small talk, very small talk, while they ate. Jack didn’t push him, as per her promise.

After eating Gibbs started a fire for Jack before heading down to the basement. Jack pulled out her laptop and settled down on the couch with a glass of Bourbon and a well-worn plaid flannel shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs might not be interested in talking to Jack but others are eager to check in via text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> text messages are in italics

Jack scrolled through her email and Facebook page for a little while, listening for sounds coming from the basement. What sounds, she wasn’t really sure. She could hear the faint sound of the ancient radio down there and an occasional cough from Gibbs as well as various woodworking related sounds, only a few of which she could identify.

She stoked the fire and poured herself another mouthful of bourbon, knocking it back as she stood looking out the back door, trying to decide what to do next. As she made another lap around the kitchen she noticed a square Tupperware container on the counter and opened it, hoping to find Christmas cookies she knew Gibbs and Finn had baked a week earlier. She was rewarded with the smell of home baked peanut butter cookies as she peeled back the lid. As she poured herself a glass of milk she heard her text chime go off again. It went off again as she tried to locate her phone, finally finding it under the blanket on the couch. It wasn’t a number she recognized and the text simply said “ _Jack Sloane?_ ”. Normally she wouldn’t have bothered to respond but given the recent events she took a chance and texted back a quick. 

_Yes, who is this?_

As she waited for a response she curled back up on the couch, reaching for her reading glasses, in case this text conversation turned out to be something involved.

_AD-Tony DiNozzo. I’m sorry, Ziva gave me your number. I hope I’m not bothering you._

Jack smiled, she’d wanted to “meet” Tony for a long time. She’d waved once or twice when he and Gibbs had Skyped over past year. And she knew Gibbs had certainly discussed their ‘non public and poorly defined’ relationship with his former agent.

_JS-No problem at all. It’s nice to “meet” you. Everything okay?_

_AD-More than okay. My family is a few hours away from being reunited. And I want to thank you for your part in the whole thing._

_JS-Thanks but I don’t think I really deserve your gratitude. I didn’t really do anything to help your situation._

_AD-well, even if that were true, thank you for all you do for Gibbs. Your support means more to him than he will ever admit._

_JS-thanks, I really needed to hear that. It’s a fine line between being supportive and driving him nuts._

_AD-I can only imagine. He apparently has not gotten chattier with age._

_JS-not at all. I’m actually here with him right now._

_AD-then don’t let me disturb you. I’ll let you go._

_JS-okay let me rephrase that. I’m here at his house, trying not to hover. He’s in the basement and I’m enjoying the fire_

_AD-ah. Did Finn get off okay? Gibbs called on his way home earlier. I know he was going to help him pack up. He really took to that boy. He’s going to miss him._

_JS-we all are. He found his way into our hearts very quickly. He is truly a special kid. Did Gibbs tell you about the knife._

_AD-yeah, he did. Classic Gibbs_

_JS-I’ll send you a picture of the two of them. Speaking of kids, how is that adorable daughter of yours?_

_AD-finally fell asleep, beyond excited to see her Ima. I know there is going to be a big adjustment period for all of us. We’ve never been a family and in mere hours we will be._

_JS-we are all so excited for you. At the risk of sounding forward, if you need anything, feel free to text or call._

_AD-only if you’ll do that same when it comes to dealing with Gibbs._

_JS-of course._

_AD-you’re good for him Jack. I’ve heard that from more than one person over the past year or so. Ziva speaks highly of you and from what I gather you are a little leery of her and her motives. But know that she loves Gibbs and wants nothing more than for him to be happy. We all want that._

_JS-I know. I’ll admit I was a little leery of her intentions as well as what the consequences were going to be to all of this. Unfortunately, we know what they ended up being. And to be honest, and at the risk of sounding like a teenaged girl, I was a little jealous of the way Gibbs just blindly followed her._

_AD-I understand all of that. And yes, unfortunately there were horrific consequences to this whole mess. But hopefully some good will come out of it for the two of you. I know good will come to my family._

_JS-and we can’t wait to see pictures of your little family very soon._

Jack heard Gibbs coming up the stairs.

_JS-he’s emerging from his “cave”. I will be in touch. Thank you for reaching out._

_AD-Good luck. Remind him we all love him and we’re just trying to help._

_JS-Thanks, I will._

Jack forwarded the picture of Finn and a Gibbs before saving Tony’s number in her contacts.

Gibbs refilled his mug and came into the living room, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Jack. She still had the phone in her hand and she was smiling a little.

“What’s the smile for?” he asked as he motioned towards her phone. Jack set it aside, trying to decide who much to tell him about her conversation with Tony.

“Just had a very nice text exchange with Tony,” she said simply.

“DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked, more than a bit surprised. Jack just nodded. “Let me guess, checking up on me?” he snorted. Jack just gave him a little glare. While she had no problem doing her best not to push him to talk, she was not going to put up with his snarkiness. “Sorry. Tali excited to see Ziva?”

“Of course. He’s understandably nervous about the situation.” Gibbs got up quickly and moved to stand in front of the fire. “Jethro?” Jack eventually said quietly.

“Just thinking, Tali’s getting her mother back and Finn’s was taken from him, all in a matter of hours,” he said simply, still facing away from Jack.

“I know,” Jack replied from where she was still sitting on the couch. It was taking all she could in her power to stay where she was. Her first instinct was always to comfort him, to reach out to him literally and figuratively.

Gibbs looked over his shoulder, expecting Jack to get up and walk over to him. For a fleeting second he was annoyed she hadn’t gotten up. But he quickly realized her lack of action, and talking, was what he had asked for in the first place.

“You found the cookies?” he asked, motioning towards the crumbs on the napkin on the coffee table.

“Yeah, delicious, thanks,” Jack muttered as she crumpled up the napkin, careful to keep the crumbs off the floor.

“I sent some with Finn, for the ride home,” he explained. Jack just nodded and gave a little smile. “So what now?” Gibbs asked, once again taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Jack.

“Now what, in general? Now what, right now?” Jack asked, not really sure where he was going with his question.

“Right now, I guess,” he muttered.

“Up to you Gibbs. I promised to come over and just stay with you,” Jack replied, literally sitting on her hands to keep from reaching out to him. He just nodded. “You didn’t think I could actually do that, did you?” she teased with a little grin.

“Nope, not at all. So was DiNozzo checking on me?” he asked as he slid off the table and sat next to Jack, close but not touching.

“I think he was checking on all three of us, you, me and Phineas. And yes, he is worried about you, as are many other people,” she said carefully, leaning over just a little to nudge him with her shoulder. 

“I know,” Gibbs whispered as he nudged her back a little. “Bourbon?” he asked as he leaned forward with enough momentum to get himself to his feet. 

“Sure,” Jack replied as her text alert went off again.

“More people checking up on me, I figure,” Gibbs muttered as he headed for the kitchen.

Jack clicked open the message.

_LV-You with him, Jack?_

_JS-Yes, we’re at his place. Before you ask, he’s not really talking and I’m trying my best to let him be. Not going to push him. Phineas got off without an issue._

_JS-why don’t you two take tomorrow off. Lord knows he needs to relax a little, and that won’t happen if he’s home alone._

_LV-true, thanks. I’ll break the news to him that he’s benched for the day_

_JS-maybe think of a better way to phrase it though._

_LV-yeah. Thanks for checking on us._

_JS-Good night Jack._

“Ducky, McGee? Who felt the need to check in?” Gibbs asked, just a hint of annoyance in his voice as he handed Jack a glass and settled down in the corner of the couch.

“Vance.”

“Really? He say anything interesting?”

“Told us to take tomorrow off,” she said, sitting back just waiting for the inevitable fireworks.

“Take the day off?” he snorted. “What am I, 10? I can make my own decisions about time off,” he muttered as he took a healthy mouthful of bourbon. “Why should I stay home? What about the rest of the team?” Jack just looked at him, saying nothing. “For the love of God Jack, could you say something?” he spit out. Jack unconsciously flinched and scooted back in her own corner of the couch, further away from Gibbs. He took a breath and realized why she hadn’t reacted. “Talk,” he all but ordered.

“This, this is why you need to take a day off. You’re completely overwhelmed, exhausted and in pain. You are not super-human Gibbs. You can’t just brush off everything that’s happened in the last few days, no matter how hard you try. Take a day. Hell, take a week. and get your head straight,” Jack all but yelled, despite her level best to speak in a quiet, non-confrontational tone.

Her tone and her words caught Gibbs off guard and he took a breath to fire right back at her but stopped short of letting loose what probably would have been barrage of words he’d soon regret. She’d been nothing but quiet since she’d arrived, he brought this on himself. He put his head in his hands, contemplating her words, knowing she didn’t say them to be mean. Even though they were harsher than she had intended, the purpose behind them was as it always was, to get him to take a step back and really look at what was going on, to get him to process things. He lifted his head and started to say something but once again stopped short of actually saying anything. His visible uncertainty just tore Jack apart.

Jack struggled to keep her tears at bay. She swiped angrily at her eyes as she got to her feet. “I can’t do this,” she muttered as she set her phone on the coffee table and headed upstairs to grab her bag.

To his credit it only took Gibbs about 30 seconds to realize she was going upstairs to pack. Deep down he didn’t want her to leave. He liked having her by his side, whether or not they were really talking. Her very presence was a grounding force in his life, as much as he hated to admit it.

With a sigh and more than a little bit of a limp he hauled himself upstairs, not quite knowing what to expect. 

He found Jack on his bed. Her bag was sitting on the rocker, still open. She was sitting back against the headboard, knees pulled up, arms wrapped around her shins. Tears were shimmering in her brown eyes. 

Gibbs kicked off his slippers and sat down next to her, copying her position. “I guess I deserved that. You were trying not to talk, just like you promised. And I pushed you to react. And you did. I am trying my best to let you in, as well as other people. It’s not my strong suit and you know that. Which is why you promised to just come over and sit quietly in case I needed you. I think maybe taking tomorrow off would be a good idea. If you want to hang out, I think I’d like that. Not promising any meaningful interactions but I will do my best not to explode,” he said softly, his tone had changed from defensive to quiet and reserved in a matter of minutes.

“I think I’d like that,” Jack agreed with a small, sad smile. 

They sat silently on the bed until they heard Gibbs’ cell phone ringing downstairs. He sighed, not really sure he was in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment but he went to check it anyway. 

Jack followed him, curling back up on the couch while he paced around the kitchen, clearly talking to Ducky.

“Guess he wanted to go straight to the source and skip calling you to check on me,” Gibbs teased as he came back in the living room. He picked up the poker and messed with the fire a little.

“Not really, I talked to him on my way home from work,” Jack teased back with a little grin. She took the last swallow of her bourbon and picked up her laptop and reading glasses.

“You want more?” Gibbs asked as he pointed to her now empty glass.

“No thanks,” she answered as she turned her attention back to her computer. 

Gibbs poured himself another drink and wandered around a little, eventually he ended up on the couch with an icepack on his knee and a book. Jack looked at him over her reading glasses and gave him a little smile. He returned the smile and turned his attention to his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments.


	3. Chapter 3

Both Gibbs and Jack read for a while in the near silence of his living room. There was the occasionally crackling of the fire and the groaning of the pipes every once in a while but no talking, from either of them. 

A little after 10:00 Jack couldn’t stop yawning as the day’s events caught up with her. She set her laptop and glasses on the coffee table. With a sigh which broke the silence of the room she stretched a little before looking at Gibbs. 

“Why don’t you go to bed?” Gibbs suggested as he tossed aside his book. He pulled off his reading glasses and rubbed at his eyes a bit. With a groan of his own his got to his feet and moved towards her.

“I think I will,” Jack said. She stood up and hesitated for a second, looking from the stairs to the hallway leading to the guest bedroom. Gibbs came up next to her and gently turned her so she was facing the stairs, solving her dilemma for her.

“I’ll be up in a while,” he said as he pressed a kiss to her temple. 

“Good night Gibbs.”

“Good night Jack,” he whispered back. He watched as she climbed the stairs, clearly exhausted. For a few seconds he thought about just locking up and following her. But while he was physically exhausted, he was also still a bit wired and he knew he wouldn’t sleep. And if he wasn’t sleeping, there was no way Jack would fall asleep next to him.

He stepped out on the porch for a bit of fresh air, his gaze falling on Phineas’ house. It was dark for now. His aunt and uncle said they would make plans to come back down in a few weeks to clean it out and put it on the market. With a sigh he headed back inside.

The Christmas tree was still lit so he walked behind the couch to unplug it for the night. With the tree dark he pulled the shades, taking note of the shiny new window on the left, the one he needed to replace the day after meeting Finn. His mother had sent the boy over to help, despite Gibbs’ assurance that wasn’t needed. Being all of 9, Finn hadn’t really been much help but it was then that Gibbs got a glimpse of just how much of a special kid his neighbor was. They bonded over Finn’s many, many questions about installing windows, baseball, NCIS and what was being built in the basement.

With a sigh and a swipe at his eyes, Gibbs pushed the memories aside before heading into the kitchen. He grabbed a few cookies, washing them down with a glass of milk. He put the bottle of Bourbon back on the top of the fridge, a little more out of reach than having it sit right in the middle of the counter. The few dishes they’d used for dinner got put into the dishwasher and he opened the freezer to see what he had in there. He found a container of meatballs and sauce, Tony’s recipe which had been given to him before DiNozzo left NCIS. In exchange for the secret recipe, Gibbs had to give up his chili recipe, one which had been handed down from the one and only Jackson Gibbs. He put the container down in the fridge before wandering around a bit. He turned the dryer on for a few minutes to fluff up the load of laundry which had been sitting there for an unknown period of time. 

He hadn’t heard any sounds coming from upstairs and he correctly figured Jack had just fallen asleep. Space between them was a good thing, decided. For more than one reason, he mused to himself. The first being he obviously didn’t want to talk, the second being he needed to make some decision about what he wanted. While he was certainly enjoying most aspects of his relationship with Jack, outside of her tendency to be too chatty at times, he knew sooner or later they should probably have the talk about where things were going between the two of them. But so far whatever this ‘non public, poorly defined’ thing they had was working for them. Although he suspected in the near future they would have to drop the ‘non public’ part of their definition as the members of their team were starting to wonder. 

The dryer buzzed, bringing him out of his musings. He pulled the load out, dropping the warm pile of clothes on the kitchen table. He chuckled a little when he realized the pile of clothes didn’t all belong to him. There was a pair of pajama pants and a pair of socks which belonged to Jack, ones that had suffered an unfortunate accident involving a cup of coffee and Gibbs not watching where he was going. There was a faded blue Captain America t-shirt of Finn’s as well as a sweatshirt which Gibbs remembered had a run-in with the pasta sauce which was now thawing in the fridge. There were also a few flannel shirts, ones he knew he hadn’t worn recently. He set Finn’s things on the ironing board. He was sure there were probably some other items which had gotten left behind in the rush of Finn and his family getting on the road earlier in the evening. They would see each other in a few weeks, he would just keep everything until then.  
With the mundane chores done Gibbs wandered around a little more. After yawning more than a few times in a matter of minutes he tended to the fire, turned out the lights and headed upstairs around midnight. Jack was sound asleep, curled up in her side. Gibbs managed to crawl into bed without waking her. That was surprising, she was a pretty light sleeper most of the time. He brushed her hair off her face before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.

******

Jack woke up with a start, somewhere in the dead of night. She was alone in the bed. Checking her time on her cell she saw it was a little after 2:30. Gibbs had obviously come to bed at some point, the covers were bunched up on his side. Knowing that the chances of her just rolling over and going to sleep without checking on him was next to nothing, she sat up, leaning over enough to look out into the hall to see if the bathroom door was closed. It was open, the nightlight Gibbs had plugged in by the sink for Finn months earlier cast a yellowish glow in the hallway. She scrubbed a hand over her face, trying to wake up just a bit more before she went in search of Gibbs. 

She grabbed the flannel shirt off the end of the bed, one Gibbs had been wearing the day before. Wrapping herself in it she headed for the stairs. As she passed by the other bedroom, she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. She gave a sad smile as she leaned in the doorway. Gibbs was sitting on the window seat, the pillow from the bed clutched to his chest. He was looking out the window, but it was clear he wasn’t really seeing much. Jack could hear his ragged breathing from where she was. He still hadn’t noticed her and the last thing she wanted to do was to startle him. 

“Gibbs,” she whispered as she stepped into the room. 

“Hey,” he muttered, not turning to look at her. He reached for the mug sitting next to him on the window seat, taking a small sip of whatever he had in there. 

Jack shuffled across the room and sat down on the edge of the window set. She patted him on the hip to get him to slide over a little, giving her a bit more room.

“Sorry,” he muttered. 

“You been awake long?” she asked. He shook his head ‘no’ but quickly realized that lying to Jack never really worked out. She was already reaching to pick up the mug, finding the tea in it was pretty cool. She just raised her eyebrows at his little lie. He gave an appropriately guilty look. “Did you sleep at all?” He shrugged his shoulders. She resisted the urge to ask if he wanted to talk, or if he was okay. What she didn’t resist was the need she felt to help him get his breathing under control. “Breathe with me,” she stated simply yet firmly. She reached to gently tip up his chin so he looked her in the eye. With a sigh he tossed aside the pillow in his lap and grabbed her hands. “Good, look at me. Take a deep breath, hold it for a second,” Jack coached. Gibbs tried to follow her lead but was struggling to focus. “Jethro, focus, look at me,” she said quietly, knowing her use of his first name was likely get his attention. It did.

“Yeah,” he muttered as he looked at her.

It was a good 5 minutes before Gibbs started to settle down at all. While his breathing was slowly returning to normal he was still really fidgety unable to sit still.

“Want to walk around a little?” Jack asked when he was breathing normally enough that she felt it was safe for him to get up.

“Yeah,” Gibbs muttered as he leaned over to stretch out his back a little. Jack stood up and offered him a hand to pull him to his feet. 

“Just stand still for a minute,” she suggested as she discreetly grabbed his wrist, checking his pulse. It was faster than she would have liked and she was starting to get a little concerned. He did stand there for about a minute, getting his bearings. Eventually Jack let him go and he walked back to his room to get his slippers. 

He limped down the stairs under the watchful eye of Jack. He headed for the kitchen and the Bourbon.

“No way,” Jack said with a chuckle as he reached for the bottle on the top of the fridge.

“It was worth a shot,” Gibbs chuckled right back. He grabbed a can of ginger ale out of the fridge, knowing full well his choice of beverage would elicit a reaction from Jack.

“Famous gut not happy?” she asked.

“Not really,” he muttered as he popped the can open and started to pace around. 

Jack got herself a bottle of water watched him wander from the kitchen to the living room, down the hall and back again. It wasn’t the pacing which was bothering her, that wasn’t unusual for him. It was the vacant look and his continued shaking which concerned her. She managed to keep her concerns to herself for a while occupying herself by carrying the load of laundry upstairs. She put her things in her bag and left his in the basket which she set down next to his dresser. After digging around in her bag for a minute she found some hand cream and put that on, basically stalling for time.

She sat at the top of the stairs for a minute, trying to figure out from the sounds downstairs what exactly Gibbs was up to. She didn’t really hear anything and wondered if he’d finally just fallen asleep on the couch. 

She should have known better. 

When she got back downstairs she found him in the bathroom, splashing water on his face.

“Puked or trying not to?” she asked as she put her hand on his back. 

“The second thing,” he muttered.

“Where’s the ginger ale?” Jack asked, not seeing it anywhere in the bathroom.

“Kitchen.”

“Stay here, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

By the time Jack got back with the soda and the throw from the couch, Gibbs was sitting on the floor, back against the tub. She sat down next to him and handed him the soda. He took it with a grateful smile and let her fuss over him a little, putting the blanket around his shoulders and rubbing his back a little.

“Can we do that thing?” he asked, cryptically.

“I’m going to assume you’re not talking about the first thing that popped into my head,” Jack snorted.

“No, not that thing,” Gibbs responded with a grin of his own. “The thing you did with Finn last night, the counting and naming things. I’m not, what was it you called it….grounded?” he said, surprising Jack more than a little. She had no idea he’d really been paying attention that closely. She was also having trouble believing that was only 24 hours earlier.

“No, you are not grounded in the least,” Jack agreed. She got on her knees for a second, reaching to turn out the overhead light. The nightlight was on, giving them enough light. She sat crossed legged in front of him, he mirrored her position and tried to take a deep breath as Jack put her hands on his knees.

“Okay let’s try this,” Gibbs whispered, not really feeling like the exercise was going to do anything but willing to give it a try, especially since Bourbon wasn’t an option, thanks to Jack.

“Okay, 5 things you can see,” Jack said with a little smile.

“The girlie soap on the sink, the picture of the boat on the wall, cracked floor tile I need to replace, the striped towels and the washcloth on the edge of the sink.

“Good. How about 4 things you can feel?” Jack responded.

“The hard floor,” Gibbs smirked as he shifted a little. “Your hands, my flannel shirt which you’re wearing,” he said as she ran a hand down her arm. “And the blanket.”

“Nice. Three things you can hear.”

“The wind, the dripping sink and the refrigerator just cycled on.”

“Two things you can smell.”

“The lotion you just put on your hands, it’s nice. And sawdust, as usual.”

Jack just smiled, remembering Finn had named sawdust too.

“And something you can taste.”

“Ginger ale,” he said as he took another sip. He took a few deep breaths. He had to admit he was feeling a bit better, surprisingly.

“Nice job, cowboy,” Jack said with a little smile. 

“Figured it was worth a try. I think it helped a little.”

“Good, you ready to leave the bathroom?”

“Think so. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Jack left him to use the bathroom. She smiled a little as she went down the hall. Never in a million years did she think he’d ever ask to do a grounding exercise.

While Gibbs wasn’t interested in going back up to bed, he was able to settle down on the couch with Jack. While she hadn’t given him an invitation, she was more than willing to have him curl up with his head in her lap. 

Both fell back to sleep just before 3:30.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> text messages are in italics

Jack woke up at 7:30 to the sound of rain. At some point in the previous few hours both had migrated to the opposite ends of the couch as she woke up with her feet tangled with his in the corner of the couch. She crept off the couch. Gibbs didn’t move when she covered him back up with the blanket which had slid to the floor.

She used the bathroom, grabbed the newspaper off the porch and started the coffee maker. By the time it had started to gurgle to life her phone was starting to buzz with text messages. With a sigh she grabbed it off the coffee table and sat down at the kitchen table to see who was checking in so early in the morning.

She clicked open her text messages with a groan. There were already ones from Vance, Ducky and Tony.

The one from Tony was just a picture of his perfect little family, reunited at last. Tali was grinning from ear to ear, arms thrown around her parents. Ziva was kissing her daughter’s cheek while Tony was simultaneously smiling at the pair and snapping the selfie. Jack sent a quick text consisting of some heart emojis and a promise to text later, when she could get her thoughts together or had something to report about the man still dead to the world on the couch

The next one was from Vance—

_LV-Good morning. You two get any sleep last night? Staying home today?_

_JS-a little sleep and we will stay home. Gibbs wasn’t exactly happy about it, but he will live._

_LV-Good, let me know if you need anything. I’ll try to keep the rest of the team from annoying both of you too much today._

_JS-Thanks._

The coffee maker beeped and she got up to pour what was sure to be the first of many cups of coffee for the day. After a few sips to get the morning started, she opened up the text from Ducky. His texting skills left a bit to be desired but Jack was always truly touched by his efforts.

_DM-Good morning Jacqueline. Hoping your evening involved sleep and not too much Bourbon._

_JS-Morning Ducky. We had a bit of both last night. Surprisingly not as much Bourbon as one would have expected. But I’m certainly not complaining. We will stay home today, at Leon’s suggestion. To be honest, if he hadn’t suggested it, I would have._

_DM-I would have also suggested it. What is Jethro up to this morning? On his second pot of coffee?_

Jack laughed as his last text. She stuck her head in the living room and snapped a quick picture of the still sleeping Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She sent it without explanation, setting the phone on the counter while she looked for something to eat. It was clear that Gibbs had been to the food store lately. She really wasn’t sure when he had time to do that but considering there was blue and green Gatorade, a Tupperware container with few leftover servings of Kraft Mac and Cheese and some chocolate covered donuts on the counter, she was pretty sure he’d had company at the store. She grabbed a banana from the basket on the microwave and the jar of peanut butter from the cabinet. As she opened the peanut butter she heard the text alert chime.

_DM-Oh my, still asleep and with not much Bourbon. In all seriousness, how is he?_

_JS-He had a rough night. I did my best not to hover and I think I did a pretty good job. He talked very little. Obviously he’s in more pain that he’s going to admit to anyone, including himself. I don’t know what to expect today._

_DM-He’s not likely to admit to anything, you do understand that, right._

_JS-Of course. Just hoping that whatever I do is helpful and not annoying._

_DM-Jacqueline, I’m sure whatever you did last evening, and whatever you do today will be just fine. Give Jethro space to do whatever it is he needs to do. Be there for him. Deep down he knows you’ll be there for whatever he needs._

_JS-I know but it’s breaking my heart, watching him try to keep it together._

_DM-Yes, an emotional Jethro Gibbs is difficult to watch, thankfully it does not happen very often. How is he physically?_

_JS-He’s exhausted, he’ll at least admit to that. Had to do some deep breathing a few times last night to settle down a little. Looks like crap, paler than usual. But would you believe he asked to do a “grounding” exercise last night? Something he heard me do with Finn the night before._

_DM-That’s something I never thought would happen. You’re good for him, never forget that. If you want me to stop by sometime today and check up on both of you, just let me know._

_JS-Thanks Ducky, I just may do that._

_DM-Take of him, and yourself._

Jack set the phone aside and ate her banana while reading the newspaper. 

A little before 8:30 she was close to finishing the pot of coffee and Gibbs was still asleep. She rinsed out her mug in a half-hearted effort to curb her caffeine intake before going to check on him. He was right where she’d left him, curled up on his side, facing the back of the couch. She straightened out the blanket even though it had barely shifted. With a sigh she perched on the very edge of the couch, rubbing his shoulder. He shifted a little in his sleep, rolling onto his back, which then left no room for Jack so she slid off to kneel next to the couch. 

“Hey,” he muttered as he pulled his hand out from under the blanket and made a half-hearted effort to wipe his eyes a bit. He tried to sit up a little but the effort seemed to be too much and he flopped back down on the pillow.

“Hey, yourself,” Jack whispered as she ran her hand through his hair and cupped his cheek for a second, his stubbled cheek tickling her fingers.

“What time is it?” he asked. Given the rain, the room was still fairly dark, making it a bit difficult to determine what time it was.

“About 8:30,” Jack answered. “Can I get you anything? I’ve already finished one pot of coffee but I can start another,” she teased.

Gibbs took a deep breath and managed to sit up in the corner of the couch. “I don’t think I can handle coffee right now. Gut’s not happy in the least. Tea?”

“Whatever you want, Cowboy,” Jack replied as she stood up, kissing his forehead before heading for the kitchen.

After another minute or so, Gibbs managed to haul himself off the couch and head down the hall to the bathroom. Jack kept an ear out for him while she waited for the water to boil. She pulled a mug out of the cabinet and grabbed a tea bag out of the basket on the counter. Her text alert went off yet again as she heard Gibbs shuffle down the hallway.

He slumped down in a kitchen chair, head in his hands. He did mutter a “thank you” when Jack set the mug of tea in front of him. When it was clear he was not going to make an effort talk, Jack grabbed her phone off the counter to check who else had decided to text in the early morning.

_P-Good morning Jack…and Jethro Gibbs. Did you find my Captain America shirt? I can’t find it. It’s my favorite one._

“Gibbs…..Gibbs,” Jack said, trying to get his attention.

“Huh?” he muttered when he realized Jack was indeed talking to him.

“Finn just texted. Did you find his Captain America shirt?”

“Yeah, it’s in the pile on the ironing board. Tell him I’ll keep it until he comes up in a few weeks.”

_JS-Jethro found it in the dryer. We’ll keep it safe until you come up in a few weeks. How was your first night?_

_P-It was pretty good. I miss you and Jethro Gibbs already._

_JS-we miss you too. He’s still half asleep but do you want me to have him call you later?_

_P-Cool. Gotta go, pancakes for breakfast._

Jack clicked the phone off with a grin.

“He doing okay?” Gibbs asked as he stood up and started to pace around a little with his tea. 

“Said he had a good night and he’s having pancakes for breakfast. Why don’t you give him a call later?” Jack suggested.

Gibbs just shrugged his shoulders and went to stand by the back door, looking out at the rain. 

Jack sighed, wondering why she thought a few hours of decent sleep would suddenly make him chatty. 

It took all her willpower not to cross the room and put her arm around him and try to convince him everything would be okay, eventually. She grabbed her book and went upstairs.

Gibbs heard her leave the room. He glanced over his shoulder, surprised that she had just walked away. Then he remembered that’s what he wanted. Or at least that’s what he thought he wanted. He opened the fridge and rooted around for a few minutes, not finding anything appealing even though it was fairly well stocked. “Screw it,” he muttered as he closed the door with a bit more force than necessary, rattling the bottles of condiments on the door. His gaze landed on the top of the fridge and the bottle of Bourbon but realizing it wasn’t even 9 in the morning he turned the flame back on under the tea kettle to make himself another cup of tea. 

Jack’s phone buzzed a couple of times on the counter while he waited for the water to boil. He thought about picking it up to see who was texting but he figured it would just annoy him as he was pretty sure it was someone checking up on him. By the time he’d poured the tea he realized that alone wasn’t what he wanted at the moment. He poured another mug of tea, put her phone under his arm and headed upstairs.

“Jack?” he called softly at the top of the stairs.

“In here,” she replied from Finn’s room.

Gibbs found her sitting on the bed, pillow clutched to her chest. He motioned for her to grab her phone so he could set down the tea on the nightstand.

“It’s been buzzing,” he muttered as he stood awkwardly by the bed, waiting for some kind of sign. Jack pulled her feet up to sit cross legged on the bed, giving him both a sign and some room to sit down. He mirrored her position, holding his tea in both hands, warming them up a little. “You can look at it,” he said, motioned towards the phone on the bed between the two of them. “I’m sure people are checking up on me,” he sighed as he wiped a hand over his face.

“They’re checking up on both of us,” she corrected with a small smile. “Ducky and Vance so far today, by the way. And a beautiful picture from Tony,” she said as she picked up the phone and opened up Tony’s text.

Gibbs looked at the picture, squinted a little as he didn’t have his reading glasses on. He stared at it for a minute or so with a sad smile. He put the phone back down on the bed and took a sip of tea.

“What did Ducky say?” he asked quietly.

“Just asked how we were doing, if we got any sleep, how much Bourbon was consumed last night. Told me I was doing a good job, not sure believe him,” Jack muttered, with a sigh.

Gibbs swallowed hard and set both mugs on the nightstand. He reached out to tip Jack’s chin up to look her in the eye. “I gotta be honest, when you told me you wanted to come over last night and just be here, not to talk, not to push me, I didn’t believe you could do it. But you did. And for that I thank you. I’m sure Ducky also reassured you that if I need something, I will talk, in my own time. You gotta believe me Jack, I will talk when I’m ready.”

Jack sniffed a little, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of the flannel shirt she was wearing. “I believe you, I really do. It’s just hard to see the strong, usually overconfident Leroy Jethro Gibbs struggle,” she whispered.

“Yeah, well, not as hard as actually being that struggling yet strong, overconfident person,” Gibbs sighed. He reached out with his thumb to wipe away the little tears threatening to fall from Jack’s eyes.

“Now what?” Jack asked as she reached to give his hand a squeeze. Gibbs gave her a much expected shrug of the shoulders. He yawned a few times and shivered a little. “How do you feel, really?” Jack asked, hoping he would give an honest answer.

“Like crap,” he muttered, without further explanation.

“Well, good, cause that’s what I told Ducky you looked like,” she teased softly. 

Gibbs chuckled. “Honestly, my head is pounding, my gut is churning and I would love just curl up under the covers.”

“Well, how about some Advil, some ginger ale and the covers? We have nowhere to be today. If you want to spend the day under the covers, no problem,” Jack replied as she pressed her hand to his forehead. He was a little warm, nothing worth mentioning since she was about to get some Advil into him. 

“Okay,” Gibbs agreed as he stood up slowly, taking a few seconds to get his bearings. “I’ll meet you downstairs,” he said, grabbing his mug.

Jack used the bathroom and as she was washing her hands she got a good glance at her reflection in the mirror. “God, I think we both look like crap,” she muttered to herself. She grabbed some Advil from the medicine cabinet and headed downstairs. 


	5. Chapter 5

After taking the Advil and drinking a little, Gibbs curled up on the couch, under the covers with a book. He hadn’t really said much and Jack just let him be. She went to take a shower in the guest bathroom, to give him space and to warm up a bit.

He was dozing on the couch when she wandered down the hallway, hair still wrapped in a towel. She took off his glasses and put them and his book on the coffee table before heading upstairs to get dressed.

The day already seemed long and it was just a little after 10:00 when Jack came back downstairs after getting dressed and drying her hair a bit. She was carrying his laundry basket/hamper filled with his dirty clothes as well as the sheets from Finn’s bed. “Might as well make myself useful,” she whispered to herself as she stepped into the laundry room. She separated the laundry and tossed the dark load into the washer.

Jack got herself a bottle out water from the fridge and settled down on the other end of the couch with her own book. She read for a while, looking up every page or two to glance at Gibbs. He was still asleep but was pretty restless. She let him be for a while until he started talking in his sleep, repeating Phineas’ name over and over again.

“Gibbs,” she said softly as she perched on the end of the couch, a gently hand on his shoulder.

“What?” he mumbled as he opened his eyes, struggling for a minute to get a little semblance of time and space.

“You okay, you were talking in your sleep, calling out for Finn,” she said as she brushed the hair off his sweaty forehead. 

“Dreaming I guess, well nightmare was more like it,” he admitted as he pushed himself up to sitting. “I dreamt he followed me when I went after his mom, saw the whole thing happen,” he whispered thickly.

“Oh honey,” Jack whispered, the term of endearment flowing easily from her lips as she scooted to the corner of the couch and opened her arms to him. He crawled up the length of the couch and settled down in her arms. Jack pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Jethro,” she whispered., knowing her use of his first name would get his attention.

“Hmmm?” he murmured as he pulled the blanket up over the two of them before wrapping his arm around her waist, settling down with his head on her shoulder as if he’d always belonged there.

“Just talk,” she urged quietly, a short, vague request, one she wasn’t sure he would heed.

He took a few deep breaths, and to the surprise of both of them, started to speak. “I don’t know where to go from here. Or to be more specific, I don’t know where I want to go from here. It’s like my whole world has changed in the blink of an eye. Ten days ago, things were great. Finn and I were decorating the Christmas tree, baking cookies, making some presents in the basement. And then all hell broke loose and everything’s changed. And you know how much I hate change,” he chuckled bitterly.

“I do know,” Jack whispered. “So, you don’t know where you want things to go. What are your choices?” she asked, desperate to just have him keep talking.

“The usual, I could just move on and not look back, but I don’t think I can do that. I could realize I’m well into my 60’s and actually think about retirement. I could decide I actually want a personal life,” he whispered as he tipped his head a little to look Jack in the eye. She gave a little watery smile but said nothing. “But that’s all big stuff,” he muttered, not giving any further explanation.

They were silent for a minute. Jack both hopeful he would just start to talk again and fearful of sliding into her therapeutic persona, one she tried to keep out of her relationship with Gibbs.

“But what happens now, in the next few days?” he whispered, his breath tickling Jack’s neck as he spoke. When Jack didn’t respond he chuckled a little. “I’m giving you permission to talk, Jack,” he said as he kissed her cheek. “You managed to stay quiet for almost 18 hours, about 16 hours longer than the odds I gave you.”

“Did you bet on my ability to sit here quietly?” she snorted.

“No, and I’m glad I didn’t, I would have lost.”

“Okay, let’s finish with what’s going to happen for the rest of today,” she replied carefully.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” he asked as he started to squirm in her embrace just a bit.

“Probably won’t be thrilled with all of it. Let’s start with the obvious; you’re going to relax, eat something, if you can and drink enough. In general, just take it easy.”

“Well, that I can live with. What else?”

“You’re going to call Grace and set up an appointment for the first available slot she has,” Jack said, bracing herself for his response. Gibbs sat up and let out a frustrated breath but eventually agreed with a little nod. His lack of complaining both made Jack happy and worried but she pressed on. “At some point today, Ducky is going to come over with his medical bag in his hand and he’s going to check you out.”

“Why?” Gibbs whined as he sat up.

“You’re the one who said you felt like “crap”, I believe that was you exact wording,” she said, giving him a little glare.

“Fine,” he muttered, knowing he wasn’t really going to be able to argue with anything she was likely to say in the next few minutes. Well, to be more precise, he could argue all he wanted, but he was unlikely to win any of the arguments.

“And at some point today you’re going to call Phineas.”

“And say what? Sorry I killed your mom, but do you want to come visit sometime?” Gibbs snorted out as he propelled himself to his feet. Jack let him be for a few minutes. He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a can of ginger ale and some crackers. 

Jack went into the laundry room to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer.

“What are you doing?” he asked as she stuck his head in the laundry room.

“Uh, laundry, what one usually does in the laundry room,” Jack teased.

“Why?”

“I got bored trying to stay quiet,” she smiled.

“Okay. Thanks,” he muttered as he hopped up to sit on the dryer. “Dishwasher is probably full of clean dishes, if you’re still bored,” he teased.

‘Well, since I’m allowed to talk and you’re actually talking a little, I’m not so bored anymore,” she teased right back as she dumped the rest of the clothes into the washer. She dropped in a detergent pod and started it. When Gibbs made no effort to get off the dryer she moved to stand in between his knees.

“What do I say to Finn? I’m asking honestly,” he sighed as he put down the soda and put his hands on her shoulders. 

“You let him take the lead. Let him decide what to talk about. I’m sure he’s feeling very alone right now. Sure, he’s reunited with his Aunt and Uncle and that’s great but he doesn’t really know them. To use a term you’re apparently getting familiar with, he needs something or someone to “ground” him in this great big, scary and confusing world.”

“And I’m supposed to be the grounding force in this kid’s life? Forget the fact that I just shattered his world into pieces, I can’t ground myself,” Gibbs said, a bit louder than he had anticipated, his voice echoing off the walls of the small room.

“Well, Gibbs, that’s where Grace and I come in. I have no desire to be your therapist, I’m leaving that up to Grace. But I am your friend, or I guess we’re more than friends, less than…..”

“Less than “together” is how I phrased it to Tony a while ago,” Gibbs whispered.

“Yeah. And at some point we will be having a conversation about what this is,” Jack said carefully. Gibb’s eyes got wide and he swallowed hard. “You can lose that look, we’re not about to have it now. At this time of heightened emotions, it’s not appropriate. In this house, or mine, we’re just us, and it works.” 

Gibbs just smiled and leaned to press a kiss to her forehead. “Damn right, it does,” he agreed. “So back to Finn, what exactly am I supposed to do?” Gibbs asked as he motioned for her to take a step back so he could slide off the dryer. Jack followed him back to the living room, where he busied himself messing with the fire. Jack took a seat on the coffee table, facing the fireplace and Gibbs.

“You let him decide what he wants, what he needs. If he wants to talk baseball, great. If he wants to talk about what happened to his mom, you do that. As horrible as this all is, you have to remember, kids are resilient. He has his Aunt and Uncle and he has you.”

“He has us,” Gibbs corrected her with a smile and a glance over his shoulder. “And by the way, I did offer your expertise to his family. Hope that was okay.”

“Of course, it was. Do I think he’ll need to talk to someone, sure. You both do,” she pointed out as Gibbs tossed another log on the fire. 

“I’ll call him later. Hey, it’s been almost an hour since someone texted you checking up on me,” Gibbs smirked as he put the poker down and stood up, wiping his hands on the pajama pants he was still wearing. 

“Maybe, maybe not, I turned the sound off,” Jack teased as she went to get something to drink.

“Great,” Gibb muttered. “I should probably take a look at my phone too. I don’t even know where it is.” He gave a quick glance at the coffee table, the kitchen table and the counter, not finding it. He grabbed Jack’s phone off the arm of the couch and called his. He followed the faint sound of his phone vibrating to the mantle where he must have put it when he was tending to the fire. He ended the call on her phone and flipped his open. There was a missed call but no message from Grace and a short voicemail from McGee, just checking in. He thought about returning Tim’s call but decided against it. 

“Phone blowing up?” Jack asked when she found him in the foyer.

“Not bad, Grace and Tim.”

“Great, you should return one of those,” Jack said as she took her phone back from him and checked her messages.

“I’ll talk to Tim later,” he answered, knowing full well that was not the call she was talking about. Jack just glared a little and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. Gibbs flipped the phone back open and called Grace. She didn’t answer but he did leave a message asking to meet with her in the very near future.

“I left a message,” he announced as he came back into the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

“Good, are you hungry at all?” Jack asked as she opened the fridge.

“Not really,” he muttered. 

Jack pulled the leftover mac and cheese out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. Gibbs paced around a little, driving Jack nuts as he decided to pace the small kitchen, instead of the rest of the downstairs. 

“I’m going to shower,” he muttered when he realized he was starting to annoy Jack just a bit.

Jack took a minute to open up her text messages.

_DM-How are things going? I hope Jethro has decided to talk a little, or at least let you talk._

_JS-Both actually, he told me I could talk a little while ago and he’s talked a bit. Nothing like what he needs to do. However, he did call and leave a message with Grace, asking to set up a time to meet with her. Guess that’s progress. Still looks pale and says he “feels like crap”. Hasn’t really eaten anything, just some crackers._

_DM-How about I come over later, check him out a bit._

_JS-Dinner? It looks like he has some meatballs and sauce thawing in the fridge._

_DM-Splendid. Be there about 6:00?_

_JS-Perfect._

Jack opened the fridge to see if there was anything resembling salad in the crisper drawer. She found a bag of something which was at one time a bag of salad but presently pretty much a bag of green slime. She carefully tossed it in the garbage can. She grabbed a piece of paper from the basket on hutch by the back door to start a shopping list. 

Jack finished up the short shopping list while Gibbs showered. He wasn’t exactly in great need of anything, except for maybe more ginger ale, but she needed to get out of the house and a trip to the store was the easiest explanation. Given the continued freezing rain, going out for a walk and some fresh air wasn’t exactly a viable option.

“Going somewhere?” he asked as he noticed her coat and purse on the back of the couch. He was happy to see that’s all that was there, her go bag, he noticed a minute earlier, was still sitting on the rocker in his room.

“Quick trip to the store. We need some more ginger ale and something green to go with the meatballs and sauce. Anything else you want?” Jack asked as she turned to face him as he’d just walked into the kitchen. He looked marginally better than he had prior to the shower and he was dressed in sweatpants and a flannel shirt which led her to believe he had every intention of taking it easy for the rest of the day. He was also carrying his laptop which gave her some hope he’d actually reach out to communicate someone. She’d be happy with anyone at this point.

“No, and I don’t particularly need green stuff either,” he teased with a wink as he set the laptop on the kitchen table.

“Noted and while I’m not going to fight you about green stuff, you do need to try and eat something this afternoon,” Jack said.

“I will. And I’ll call Phineas and try Grace again,” he promised.

“Good. And Ducky is coming over for dinner,” Jack said, just sneaking that fact into their conversation.”

“Great,” Gibbs said in an overly cheerful voice. “Bringing his medical bag, no doubt.”

“No doubt about that,” Jack said with a smirk. “And what’s with the seldom used laptop?” she asked, pointing towards the table.

“I’ll try to see if I can Skype with Tony and his family. Would probably do me some good to see them all together,” he said softly with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I think it would too,” Jack agreed. 

Gibbs grabbed a bottle of blue Gatorade and the laptop before settling down on the couch. Jack grabbed her things and got ready to leave. “Text if you think of anything you want me to grab from the store.” His response came in the form of a little wave over his shoulder as he put on his glasses and booted up the computer. She chuckled a little and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head before heading out into the rain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, while I am not a doctor, I do work in the mental health field. I am a Psychiatric Social Worker on an inpatient behavioral health unit.

Jack went home for a few things before she headed to the food store. She realized she would probably end up spending the night at Gibbs’ place and she had no work clothes with her. Her plants were also in need of watering and she had a few days’ worth of mail she quickly flipped through, mostly to kill some time. While she didn’t have the urge to abandon Gibbs completely, she was in need of some solitude. And she knew he was most likely feeling the same way. When the rain slowed a little, she headed out to the store.

While Jack was out of the house, Gibbs did spend a little while talking to Tony, Ziva and Tali over Skype. After the 4 of them finished chatting Tony took his laptop into his office so he and Gibbs could talk in a more private setting. Like Jack, and numerous others, Tony encouraged Gibbs to talk, to reach out to those who love him. With a promise to keep in touch more often, the two men said their goodbyes.

Gibbs got up off the couch to stretch a little before calling Phineas. While he stalled, Grace called him to set up an appointment for the following afternoon. She didn’t get into much of a conversation over the phone and for that he was grateful. 

“Just pull it together,” he muttered to himself as he scrolled through his contacts for Finn’s number.

**************

“Gibbs,” Jack called as she came in the front door a little after 3:00. The rain had picked up and she had gotten drenched getting from the driveway to the front door. She dropped everything on the floor to slip off her coat and shoes. When she didn’t get an answer she figured maybe he’d fallen asleep, so she put away the groceries and dried off a little before moving the clothes over to the dryer. He obviously wasn’t on the first floor and the basement light was off, so she headed upstairs to find him.

He was sound asleep on his bed, curled up in an impossibly tight little ball, given his height. Her heart broke when she got closer and saw faint tear tracks on his cheeks and a handful of tissues in his hand. In an instant she felt guilty for leaving him alone, if only for a few hours. 

“Oh Gibbs,” she whispered as she pulled the covers over him and kissed his cheek. She removed the tissues from his grasp and grabbed his phone from where it was sitting on “her” pillow. Flipping it open she saw the last call he had made was to Finn and that they’d talked for over 20 minutes. He rolled over in his sleep but didn’t wake up, so she turned to go back downstairs and just let him sleep.

Jack managed to make it down to the couch before her own tears started. She went through a handful of tissues herself. Eventually she pulled herself together and went to put on some water for tea. She made a salad for dinner and found a box of pasta in the pantry cabinet. Her text message chimed twice and she wiped her hands on a towel before checking to see who was trying to reach her.

_AD-I know you went out for a while, don’t blame you for wanting to get out of the house. I can only imagine how Gibbs has been since we texted last night. We did Skype about an hour ago. I think it helped him to see my little family together and happy. At least some good has come out of all of this mess. I completely underestimated how bad he was going to look. Maybe Ducky should make a house call._

_AD-sorry for making suggestions from thousands of miles away. Tell me to stop if I’m overstepping my boundaries._

_JS-do not be sorry for looking out for Gibbs. Yes, it was good to get out of the house for a little while. Yes, we’ve reached a new level of “looking like crap”. And Ducky is coming by for dinner, bringing along his medical bag._

_AD-Good. Did Gibbs talk to Finn?_

_JS-He did. I just got back and found him sound asleep, tears track and all. They talked for about 20 minutes. And yes I found out that information by checking his phone._

_AD-Tears from Gibbs? God, part of me wants to be on the next plane to DC._

_JS-Don’t, you just got your family back and you 3 need to settle in. We’ll be fine, eventually. Stay in touch with both of us_

_AD-Promise. Talk to you soon._

Jack folded the one load of laundry and talked to Bishop for a little bit, all the while listening out for Gibbs. Eventually Ellie had to go get some work done but she promised to give a quick update to the rest of the team. Her update would probably satisfy Torres but Jack was pretty sure she’d be hearing from Tim sometime soon, especially if Gibbs had yet to return his call.

*********

The rest of the afternoon went by slowly. Jack alternately read and did some work on her computer. Gibbs just slept. As she was thinking about going to check on him, her phone rang. It was Finn. He sounded pretty good, all things considered. Thrilled that Gibbs had called him earlier. He rambled on for a little while about his new room, the school he was going to be attending and the kids who lived next door to him. Just hearing his voice made Jack smile.

At 4:30 Jack headed up to check on Gibbs and maybe wake him up so that he’d have a better chance of sleeping when night rolled around. The steps creaked as she headed upstairs. She had yet to learn where to step to avoid the creaks, something Gibbs did without a second thought. She turned on the small lamp on the dresser as the room was already dark from the short winter day and the rain. Gibbs had migrated to the middle of the bed, giving her room to sit down on the edge. He woke up as soon as the bed shifted under her weight.

“Hey,” he muttered as he wiped at his eyes, trying to orient himself a little to time and space. He pushed himself up to sit against the headboard. Jack sat crossed legged next to him, facing the head of the bed. Gibbs went to look for the time but he quickly realized he didn’t have his watch on and a stack of books was blocking his view of his alarm clock.

“It’s about 4:30,” Jack offered, helping him out a little. “You slept for a couple hours. Feel any better?” she asked, not really expecting an answer in the affirmative given the fact that he looked miserable.

“Not really sure. Don’t feel like puking so that’s something,” he muttered as he tried to take stock of how he was actually feeling. “Head’s still pounding a bit.”

“Sit tight and I’ll get some more Advil,” Jack offered. Gibbs just nodded and reached for the glass of water he’d brought up with him earlier. He pushed back the covers and turned on the light on the nightstand.

“Here,” Jack said, handing him the pills. 

“I talked to Phineas,” Gibbs said quietly.

“I know, he called me a little while ago. He was thrilled that you called him.”

“Good. He didn’t really talk much about what happened, more about his new room and stuff. I just let him ramble, like you suggested. It was fine.”

“Then what got you so upset?” Jack asked as she reached out with her finger to trace a faint tear track on his cheek. Gibbs pulled away quickly, embarrassed at how upset he’d been, but glad Jack hadn’t been there to see it. “Gibbs,” Jack muttered, clearly trying to get him to respond.

“I don’t know. Everything just came crashing down at once. It’s stupid. I really don’t want to talk about it,” he whispered, hoping she’d just drop her questions.

“Okay,” Jack said quietly, much to the surprise of Gibbs. She wasn’t going to push him. He’d already said more and allowed her to say more than she had expected. “How about you splash some cool water on your face and come downstairs?” she suggested as she held out her hand to pull him to his feet.

“Yeah,” he muttered as they headed for the hall.

*******

At 6:00 on the dot Ducky walked in the front door, carrying his medical bag and a white paper bag from Gibb’s favorite bakery. He hung up his coat and hat, while calling out to announce his arrival.

“Kitchen,” both Gibbs and Jack called out.

“Well this is a rather sad party,” Ducky announced as he stepped into the room. Jack was pouring the pasta in the boiling water and Gibbs sitting on the counter, leaning against the fridge. He had a bottle of Gatorade in his hand, instead of his ever-present Bourbon.

“If you’re looking for a party, you came to the wrong place,” Gibbs muttered. 

“Well, I am afraid I may be well past my party days,” Ducky said with a smile. “Seriously Jethro, how are you?” Ducky asked as he took the bottle of iced tea Jack was holding out for him. His answer came in the expected shrug of Gibbs’ shoulders.

“Okay, I guess,” Gibbs finally muttered after getting twin glares from his two friends.

“Well, I figure we have 8-10 minutes while the pasta cooks, how about we have a little chat?” Ducky offered.

“Sure,” Gibbs muttered as he slid off the counter and lead Ducky down the hall to the guest room.

“Is this really necessary?” Gibbs muttered as he turned on the overhead light and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe, maybe not. But as the licensed medical professional, why don’t you let me decide what’s needed,” Ducky said gently as he pulled the chair from the corner of the room to set it next to the bed. “I’m going to let Grace and Jacqueline handle your emotional well-being. The two of them are more than capable of helping you with that. How about we talk about what’s going on physically,” Ducky said, stopping short of actually asking a question, waiting to see how Gibbs would react.

“I’m fine,” Gibbs muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Jethro, I have not, as they say, just fallen off the turnip truck. And by my estimate we have about 6 minutes left until dinner is ready, so can you please just be honest?” Ducky asked, his frustration coming through in his voice but he softened it by gently putting his hand on Gibbs’ knee. 

“Fine,” Gibbs sighed. “Right now, huge headache. Gut was cranky earlier, well, off and on for a while.”

“Define, a while?” Ducky asked as he motioned for Gibbs to unbutton his flannel shirt.

“Months,” Gibbs muttered sheepishly. Ducky just gave a little glare and clucked his tongue as he reached for Gibbs’ arm and wrapped the blood pressure cuff around it. 

“158/94, rather high for you,” Ducky announced as he tugged on the Velcro to release the cuff. He grabbed Gibbs’ wrist and checked his pulse, which was also running a bit high. A quick check with the ear thermometer yielded no fever. “So, I hear you’ve been doing some deep breathing with Jacqueline,” Ducky said as he returned everything to his bag and sat back in the chair.

“And a damn grounding exercise too, but I’m sure you already knew that,” Gibbs snorted.

“I did. So Jethro, we’ve talked vaguely in the last year or so about anxiety and depression.”

“You don’t think I have a right to be anxious and depressed?” Gibbs asked with an expected edge to his voice.

“Jethro, you certainly have a right to feel however you feel. It’s what you do with those feelings and how you handle them,” Ducky replied carefully

“I thought Jack and Grace were taking care of my mental health?” Gibbs snorted.

“Well, it is all connected,” Ducky said with a grin as he checked his watch. “But I imagine dinner is about ready, so shall we continue this later?”

“Or never, that would be fine with me,” Gibbs teased.

“Later it is,” Ducky said as he headed for the kitchen. Gibbs followed with a little groan.

Jack and Ducky enjoyed everything at dinner, including a couple glasses of wine. Gibbs not so much; he did manage to eat a little plain pasta and half a meatball. Ducky said nothing at the table, figuring he could do that later. 

After dinner Ducky and Gibbs went down to the basement, leaving Jack to clean up the dishes. She put on some music, poured herself another glass of wine and got to work. 

“We’re not actually going to be building anything are we?” Ducky asked as he pulled a stool up to the table and brushed a little saw dust out of the way before putting his elbows on the table.

“You don’t have to build anything,” Gibbs teased as he grabbed a small sanding block and the project he and Finn had been working on earlier in the week. It was a little shelf with a cutout for a baseball, a notch for the end of the bat and a hook for his glove.

“Phineas?” Ducky asked, motioning towards the project.

“Yeah. So, depression and anxiety,” Gibbs said softly. Ducky waited a beat before responding, giving Gibbs a chance to say something…anything more. “Yeah, if I’m being honest, and I assume that’s what you want, anxiety is a problem at times. I’m decent at hiding it, well, from everyone but Jack.”

“Thank you for being honest. And I have no doubt Jacqueline can read you like a book, much to your annoyance, I’m sure. Have you ever considered taking something for the anxiety?”

“Not particularly. Doesn’t seem like something which would appeal to me,” Gibbs said as she traded the block for a finer grade.

“Being anxious and miserable is more appealing?” Ducky asked as he stood up and poured himself two fingers’ worth of Bourbon in a mason jar. Gibbs declined Ducky’s offer to pour him some with a little shake of his head. 

“Yeah, suppose not. What are we talking about? Something regularly or when I need it,” he asked as he set down the sanding block and put his elbows on the table, propping up his chin. 

“Both have their merits. There is a certain class of drugs which would work quickly when things start to get out of control, benzodiazepines. But those are addictive in nature and not something I would suggest. There are some other PRN or as needed medications but honestly, I think something you would take daily is a better option.”

“Yeah, something on an as needed basis, well, I don’t see myself ever feeling like I _need_ it,” Gibbs admitted.

“Exactly and Jacqueline doesn’t exactly follow you around all day long to point out when you’re struggling,” Ducky teased as he held up his mason jar in a mock salute. 

“Ouch,” Gibbs said, trying his best to look wounded but coming up way short. “So, what are you thinking?”

“There are quite a few options, my suggestion is Lexapro. You take it once a day, side effects should be minimal.”

“Can I think about it?” Gibbs said.

“Of course, you can think about it,” Ducky answered as they heard the basement door open.

“Think about what?” Jack asked as she came down the basement steps. She looked towards Ducky for an explanation, but he nodded towards Gibbs.

“Well, the good doctor thinks maybe something for anxiety wouldn’t be the worst idea.”

“I agree,” Jack said as she sat down on the top step of the landing with her glass of wine. “We’ve danced around that topic a few times.”

“I feel like I’m being double teamed,” Gibbs said with a smirk. Missing was the attitude both Jack and Ducky were expecting.

“Well, Jethro, there are actually considerably more than just the two of us who are worried about you,” Ducky pointed out. 

“I know and I swear to God I’m trying to accept the concern of way too many people in my life,” he chuckled.

“I won’t speak for Jacqueline, but I do know that are trying,” Ducky said as stood up. “Is that coffee I smell?” he asked as the enticing smell of the dark roast Jack had started brewing wafted down the stairs.

“It is, but we have tea also, of course,” Jack said as she held out her hand for Gibbs to pull her to her feet.

Ducky headed up the stairs carrying his empty mason jar. Jack started after him but Gibbs grabbed her by the hand.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he kissed her cheek.

“What for?” Jack asked as she gave his hand a squeeze.

“For being you, and letting me be me,” he said simply.

The three of them finished the pot of coffee and most of the pastries Ducky had brought for dessert. They made some small talk until Ducky started yawning a little after 9:00. Jack packed up some leftovers for him to take home while he wrote a script for Gibbs, in case he decided to try the Lexapro. Gibbs walked him out to his car, thankfully the rain had stopped and it was warm enough that the roads weren’t iced over. But Gibbs still told Ducky to call when he made it home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all for your kudos and kind comments. This story has certainly taken on a life of its own. When I started it I figured 2 or 3 chapters and I'd be done. But I'm having way too much fun with it. That being said, I think I can see the end in sight.


	7. Chapter 7

“I’m going to call McGee,” Gibbs said as he headed back down to the basement, phone and coffee mug in his hand. Jack gave him a big grin and a thumbs up, which earned her an eye roll from her companion. 

Jack’s phone vibrated on the counter for a second, alerting her to an incoming text. She turned the sound back on and opened the text.

_P-Hi Jack. When I talked to jethro gibbs I was scared to say some stuff. I emailed him. Can you tell him to read it?_

_JS-of course, honey. I’ll make sure he reads it and emails you back. You getting ready for bed?_

_P-I’m texting under my covers_

_JS-well, you get some sleep._

_P-good night jack_

_JS-good night Finn_

Jack thought about going downstairs to tell Gibbs right away, but with Finn heading off to bed, it wasn’t exactly time sensitive for him to read the email. She changed into pajamas and stoked the fire to the best of her ability before settling down on the couch with a book.

Down in the basement, Gibbs talked to Tim for about 5 minutes, a long conversation in Gibbs’ mind. He made no promises about what he would be doing the following day, stay home or go in. After he hung up he did a little more work on Finn’s shelf before cleaning up a few things. Finn had been an eager learner and wanted to try lots of different woodworking techniques so the basement was a little disorganized at the moment. He eventually sat down at the work bench and out of habit poured himself some Bourbon. In the middle of the first sip, he realized it wasn’t going to sit too well, so he put a lid on the mason jar and set it aside.

At 10:00 he climbed the stairs, fully expecting to find Jack asleep as he’d heard no sounds coming from upstairs in almost an hour. To his surprise she was still wide awake, on the couch with her book. She didn’t notice him at first and he was able to watch her for a few seconds. She was curled up in a flannel shirt of his, hair pulled back in a messy bun, reading glasses sliding down her nose. Adorable, he thought to himself as he coughed to make his presence known.

“Hey,” she muttered as she pulled off her glasses and set her book aside. Gibbs grabbed the nearest pillow and tossed it in her lap, flopping down without an invitation or second thought. “Comfortable?” Jack teased as she dropped one hand to his chest and the other to his hair. She brushed away some lingering sawdust from the front of his shirt.

“Very comfortable,” he replied with a wink. Jack winked back but made no effort to start a conversation, which was very surprising to him.

“Jack?” he questioned, knowing she had something on his mind.

“Phineas texted a little while ago, from under his covers apparently. He said there were some things he couldn’t talk to you about over the phone and he emailed you. Wanted me to make sure you read it.”

“Email? The kid’s only 9,” Gibbs laughed. “Well, a very mature 9, that’s for sure. Any idea what it says?” he asked as he glanced around the room, trying to locate him laptop.

“Nope. Tim hasn’t helped me hack into your laptop yet,” Jack teased. That garnered her another eye roll from Gibbs.

He stood up and grabbed the laptop from the other side of the room. He patted his shirt pocket before quickly realizing he’d left his glasses in the basement. “Here,” Jack said as she pulled her off glasses and handed them to him.

“Thanks,” he muttered as tapped the laptop to wake it up. With a deep breath he opened up the email from Finn. Jack tried to get up and give him some privacy but he grabbed her hand and held it tightly. She leaned to read over his shoulder.

**Dear Jethro Gibbs**

**Thank you for calling me, it was nice. I have some questions but I didn’t want to ask over the phone. I didn’t want you to get mad or sad. If you don’t answer it’s okay**

**Did you know my mom was working with bad people for a long time?**

**How did she meet those people?**

**Was she ever really a waitress?**

**Are the bad people going to come after me now?**

**Is it okay if I feel mad at you sometimes?**

**When we come back to pack the house, can I come to NCIS again?**

**Sorry for so many questions. Answer me if you want to.**

**Your friend,**

**Phineas**

After he finished reading the email Gibbs took a deep, shaky breath. He set the laptop on the coffee table and leaned over, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, trying desperately to hold things together. Jack just put a gentle hand on his shoulder, choosing to stay silent. “Can you help me answer this?” he asked quietly.

“Of course,” Jack said as she pressed a kiss to his temple. “You want me to do the typing?” Jack asked, pointing to his hands which were shaking pretty badly. 

“Yeah,” Gibbs answered as he folded his arms, tucking his hands against his sides. Jack just nodded as she picked up the laptop and took her glasses back from Gibbs. She let him ramble a bit, transforming his jumbled thoughts into something a 9 year old could understand.

**Dear Finn,**

**Thank you for your email. I will try to answer your questions the best I can.**

**Don’t worry I am not mad at you. Sad for what happened, yes but I will never be mad at you for asking questions.**

**I do know some of how your mom got involved with the bad people. I know it was a pretty long time ago but there are things which you are too young to hear. In time your aunt, uncle and I will try to explain things to you. That’s the best I can do right now. Hope you can understand.**

**You are safe, people will make sure of that, I will make sure of that.**

**As for being a waitress, she wasn’t.**

**Finn, you have every right to be mad at me, to yell at me, to hate me, to never want to speak to me again. I hope that doesn’t happen, but I will try to understand if it does.**

**When you come back in a few weeks with your Aunt and Uncle I would love to have you come to NCIS, if that’s what you want.**

**I hope I hear from you soon.**

**Your Friend,**

**Jethro Gibbs**

“Okay,” Gibbs said as he reread what Jack had typed. His finger hovered over the computer for a second before hitting SEND.

“It’s late, don’t sit there waiting for a reply,” Jack said a she got up off the couch and poked at the fire a little.

“Yeah, true. Do you even know what you’re doing with that thing?” Gibbs teased, pointing at the poker in her hand. He stood up and took a step towards her. Jack wielded the poker like a sword and he backed up with a chuckle. “Give me that thing before someone gets hurt,” he said holding out his hand. Jack turned over the poker and sat down on the floor in front of the fire. Gibbs poked around a little and set the poker on the hearth before sitting down on the stool he’d pulled up next to Jack.

“So, what do you think you’re going to do with Ducky’s suggestion about meds?” she asked, nudging his knee with her shoulder.

“I think I’ll give it a try. Doubt it will make me any more miserable,” he muttered with a shrug of his shoulders.

“We think it’s probably a good idea to at least try. And you realize by try, we mean 3 months. Takes a while for Lexparo to kick in fully. And although Ducky didn’t discuss it, if you’re really struggling while the Lexapro kicks in, there are other _as needed_ options. Plenty of options which are not addictive. How about you fill the script tomorrow and start the day after, that will give you the weekend in case you get any weird and unexpected side effects.”

“Okay,” Gibbs agreed, no complaints, no groaning, no additional questions.

“Good,” Jack whispered. “What do you think you want to do about tomorrow? I’m going to go in, but my decision really shouldn’t impact yours. What time are you seeing Grace?”

“2:00 at the diner. Guess I could take a late lunch,” he said with a yawn. “Or I could take another day to regroup,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet. “You think another day at home, or what would actually end up being 4 days, would be a good idea? I’m asking you, please answer,” he said softly.

“I think you should stay home. You have the time. You can even spend most of the day alone. I won’t be here to annoy you.”

“You didn’t annoy me. You made me feel better,” he admitted in a very un-like Gibbs fashion.

Jack just smiled and leaned toward him a little, resting her chin on his knee. Gibbs ran his fingers through her hair. They both watched the fire for a little while, until their dueling yawns could no longer be ignored.

“Come on, bedtime,” Jack announced a few minutes before 11. She stood up and reached to pull Gibbs to his feet. “I’ll lock up, you go ahead.”

“Okay,” Gibbs agreed as he patted her shoulder on his way upstairs.

By the time Jack made it upstairs, Gibbs had brushed his teeth, taken some Advil and crawled into bed, all the lights still on. Jack took her time brushing her own teeth, setting the alarm on her phone and setting out her clothes for the morning. 

She turned out the lights and climbed into bed next to Gibbs, close but not touching him. Curled up on her right side she faced him and pulled the covers up over her shoulders.

“So, I feel like now is the time I should say something,” Gibbs muttered as he rolled over onto his stomach, shoving one arm under the pillow. 

“Like what?” Jack asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Probably something sweet, probably something I wouldn’t normally say,” he whispered as he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Jethro, you do realize you say plenty of sweet things to me,” she said quietly. He nodded a little, smiling as he usually did when she used his first name.

“You impressed me these last 30 hours or so,” he said simply.

“By what, keeping quiet?” Jack asked, knowing that’s exactly what he meant. 

“Yep. For staying here by my side, doing whatever I needed, no questions asked. It wasn’t what you thought I needed, but it was what I knew I needed, if that makes sense,” Gibbs whispered.

“Makes perfect sense to me,” Jack agreed. “And you eventually let me speak,” she teased as she reached out to cup his cheek. “You never told me what you decided about tomorrow.”

“I’m going to stay home. Get a few things done around here, maybe get outside, it’s supposed to be warmer tomorrow. See Grace at the diner in the afternoon. Not exactly looking forward to that but I do agree I need to talk to someone, other than you, no offense.”

“None taken, cowboy. I do like it when you talk, I won’t lie about that. But I certainly don’t want to be your therapist.”

“Good, cause this would be an awfully awkward situation if you were,” Gibbs teased as he pulled her close. She tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around him. Jack chuckled against his chest.

Gibbs rubbed her back until she fell asleep, it didn’t take all that long. He was awake for a while longer, probably due to the fact he’d spent a good deal of the day on the couch or in bed. 


	8. Chapter 8

Jack was happy to see that McGee was the only person in the bullpen when she arrived. She gave him a quick update and encouraged him to call Gibbs later. Then she headed to her office before having to give updates to more people. Closing the door behind her she was determined to make it through her email and voicemails before trying to see what she could do to help with the cold cases the team was going to be working on. They didn’t have an active case and for that they were grateful. It had been a difficult few days and they could all use a light day, especially a light Friday.

Just about the time she got to the end of the emails there was a knock on the door. She thought about ignoring it and acting as if she wasn’t in there, but she had music playing loud enough that whoever was in the hall was sure to be able to hear it.

“Come in,” she called as she pushed her glasses to the top of her head and pushed herself back from her desk.

“Jacqueline,” Ducky said, his warm Scottish lilt filling her office. 

“Hey Ducky,” she said as she motioned for him to come in.

He came in with a smile and two blueberry muffins. He dropped the bag on the desk and walked around to give Jack a big hug.

“I didn’t know you were here today,” she said after kissing his cheek and straightening his bow tie a little.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to be in either. But I figured I might be able to help out a little, or at least be an extra set of eyes, in case Jethro decided to come in,” Ducky explained as he took a seat on the couch. Jack grabbed the muffins and her cup of coffee before sitting next to him.

“Well, surprisingly, he did stay home and it was his decision believe it or not,” Jack explained as she handed Ducky a muffin and napkin. 

“I am very pleased the hear that. Did the two of you get any sleep last night?”

“I slept pretty well. Can’t speak for Gibbs but he was still basically asleep when I left, so that’s something,” Jack said with a grin as she unwrapped her muffin, realizing she hadn’t eaten breakfast and was really hungry. 

While they ate, Jack told Ducky about the email exchange between Gibbs and Phineas and of Gibbs’ decision to try the Lexapro. He was happy to hear about both.

Ellie appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, looking for a lollipop and some help from Jack on a cold case. “I can come back,” she said when she saw Jack and Ducky in what seemed to be a deep conversation.

“No, no, Eleanor,” Ducky said as he got up. “I’ve taken up enough of Jacqueline’s time. Here, have this,” he said as he handed her the other half of his muffin. “Jacqueline, give me a call if you need anything.”

“Thanks, I will,” Jack promised.

“Thanks for the muffin, Ducky,” Ellie said as headed for the door. “So, how’s Gibbs?” Ellie asked as she sat in the chair in front of Jack’s desk.

“Ah, so you don’t really need help with a cold case?” Jack asked with a little ineffective glare. 

“I do, but since it’s a cold case, it’s not really pressing,” Ellie smirked.

“He seems to be doing as well as one can expect, given the circumstances,” Jack said carefully.

“Really, that’s the best you can do?” Ellie teased as she turned in the chair, throwing her legs over the arm, clearly making herself comfortable.

Jack took a deep breath and smiled. She and Ellie had never really discussed what it was she and Gibbs had, but the younger woman was not blind. 

“It was a rough 36 hours. I’ve never seen him so helpless and hurting. He wanted to be left alone and there was no way I was going to let that happen. So, I basically promised to just be there…quietly,” Jack explained.

“How did that work out?” Ellie as she finished up the last bite of muffin.

“Better than either of us expected, to be honest. He did eventually let me talk and even talked a bit himself. It’s going to take time for him to get back on an even keel. And to his credit, I think he’s starting to realize that. He just needs to remember people have his back and that he’s…he’s…”

“Loved?” Ellie whispered.

“Yeah,” Jack agreed as she wiped at her eyes. “God, I’ve been through enough tissues this week,” she muttered as she reached to grab one out of the box on her desk. She pulled herself together quickly, tossing her empty cup and the napkin in the wastebasket.

“He was okay with staying home today?”

“At first he wasn’t, of course. And things got a little heated for a bit. I think he eventually realized why Vance and I thought he should take a few days. It wasn’t pretty.”

“Define, not pretty,” Ellie asked, always eager to catch a glimpse into the “human” side of her boss.

“More than one tissue, less than a box,” Jack said with a wink. Ellie, just nodded, accepting the answer given to her. “Let’s go, I think I’d really like to go upstairs and do some work, do something to make me feel useful.”

Jack stood up, grabbed her glasses, notebook and a pen. 

“Fine.” Ellie agreed. “But you know, even if all you did do with Gibbs was to sit there quietly, you did something useful,” she assured Jack as she linked her arm with her friend’s and led the pair down the hall.

******

Gibbs slept until 8:00, took a long hot shower and headed downstairs. There were thankfully no missed calls or messages on his cell. He booted up his laptop while he made himself a cup of tea after he decided his gut wasn’t feeling up to the coffee Jack had made. There wasn’t a response from Finn yet and to be honest, Gibbs was a little glad. He had his appointment with Grace in the afternoon and that was enough to focus on at the moment. 

The weather had cleared and was actually pretty nice out for January in suburban DC but the thought of going out for a walk in the neighborhood first thing in the morning made him feel a little old. So he decided to get outside later, maybe after his appointment with Grace. 

He finished putting together Finn’s baseball shelf, put away the laundry Jack had done the day before and unloaded the dishwasher, all to kill time before meeting Grace. He thought about calling Jack before he headed out but he didn’t want to bother her at work and didn’t want really want to hear the pep talk she was sure to give him. He knew her heart was certainly in the right place but it wasn’t what he really needed at that moment.

Finally giving up on killing time at home he left the house a little before 1:00, figuring he could eat a little lunch while he waited for Grace to arrive. On the way he dropped off the script at the pharmacy.

When he arrived at the diner he was almost glad to find Elaine had the day off. He knew he looked like crap and he didn’t need another person pointing that out. A waitress who was fairly new dropped off a menu and a glass of water. He wasn’t all that hungry but he also knew Jack would be asking for a list of what he’d eaten at some point. Nothing sounded all that enticing so herordered a cup of soup and some French fries.

Gibbs heard the bell ring as the diner door opened and without looking up from his newspaper, he just knew Grace had arrived. 

“God, Popeye, you look like hell,” Grace said with a smirk as she slid into the booth across from Gibbs.

“Ever the charmer, Grace,” he replied dryly as he set aside the newspaper and took off his glasses. She set her bag on the bench and set her phone on the table next to her. The waitress came over with a menu and a glass of water almost immediately.

“Iced tea and tuna on rye,” Grace ordered, not bothering with the menu. “So, this is the famous diner I’ve heard so much about,” she said as she glanced about. 

“Yep.”

“It’s actually just what I pictured. Not your usual bacon cheeseburger and onion rings,” she pointed out, motioning towards Gibb’s bowl of soup and plate of fries, which was mostly untouched. He slid the plate of fries towards her and handed her the bottle of ketchup. “Famous gut not too happy?” she asked, smiling to herself that he remembered she liked ketchup on her fries.

“Not really,” Gibbs muttered as he took a sip of his Coke. 

“And no coffee, things must really be bad,” she smirked as she popped a fry in her mouth.

“Ya know, I really didn’t make an appointment so that you could analyze my lunch,” Gibbs muttered.

“Okay, so why did you call and ask to see me?” she asked, more than curious at what his answer would be.

“Didn’t really have a choice, now did I?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and pursing his lips just a little.

“Jack, Director Vance, Ducky, who?” Grace asked as she stole another fry.

“Jack, mostly but I’m sure the other two would be in favor of me talking to you.”

“I think they’d be in favor of you talking to anyone,” Grace quipped with an unladylike snort. “So, what are we talking about Gibbs?” she asked, open to him leading the conversation but not really expecting much.

“Well, how much do you know about the last 48 hours?” he asked as he pushed his drink back and forth between his hands, the glass sliding easily over the water rings on the formica tabletop.

“Enough. I talked to Vance this morning, saw some preliminary reports. Have a pretty good grasp on what happened. I don’t think I really need too many details to talk to you.”

“And?”

“And what?” Grace asked, copying his tone.

“Did you talk to anyone else?”

“Like who?” Grace asked, as innocent as can be.

“Jack,” Gibbs all but growled.

“Actually, I did not. I did talk with Ducky for a few minutes during the drive over here. I know he checked you out last night and that you’re seriously considering trying something for anxiety and depression.”

“Dropped the script off on the way here,” Gibbs admitted as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Good for you. I think it will help. So, let me just ask a completely general question, how are you doing?”

“Well, I’ve certainly been better, that’s for damn sure,” he muttered as he absently stirred his soup but didn’t actually eat any of it.

“You want to start talking or do I need to ask questions?” Grace asked. “I’m fine either way,” she added with a smile. “And by the way, we’re not getting down and dirty about any of this right now. I just want you to talk a little, get some things off your chest. Maybe realize that whatever you’re feeling is perfectly okay.”

Gibbs shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Your feelings are yours. It’s what you do with them.”

“Yeah, so I’ve been told a few times over the last day or so.” Gibbs muttered.

“Let’s back up to what those feelings are,” Grace said, trying to get him to focus a little.

“Confusion, sadness, fear, uncertainty, guilt.” Grace just looked at him for a beat, trying not to smile. “What, you didn’t think I could name 5 feelings?” Gibbs asked with a well-placed smirk.

“Something like that. Let’s talk guilt.”

“Great,” he muttered. “Of course, I feel guilty. I shattered Finn’s world in an instant. I killed his mother,” he whispered harshly, trying not to raise his voice. 

“Yes, unfortunately you did. But you didn’t really have a choice. Like it or not, it was justified. She was going to kill Ziva.”

“And years ago Ziva pretty much saved me the same way. Doesn’t make it any easier,” Gibbs muttered as he picked through the fries, looking for a well done one. “This is why I had rule #10.”

“Yeah, and it’s also why you burned it. There was no way in hell you could have avoided being personally involved in this mess, no matter how hard you might have tried. You were personally involved before it became a case.”

“Fair enough,” Gibbs conceded.

“Have you and Phineas really talked about what happened?” Grace asked. 

“In vague terms. Obviously, he’s 9 and doesn’t need details. He knows that his mom was involved with bad people and he knows I killed her.”

“When was the last time you heard from him?” Grace asked as her food arrived.

“He emailed last night and I answered.”

Email? He is 9, right?” Grace chuckled. Gibbs just nodded.

“He asked some questions he didn’t feel like he could ask me over the phone.” Gibbs explained. Grace motioned for him to continue as she was taking a bite of her sandwich. “Yes, we talked over the phone. And he texted with Jack a few times. She said I should just let him take the lead, let him be the one to decide what he wants to talk about, the questions he wants to ask. I don’t see how the guilt is going to lessen any time soon.”

“Not going to lie, it’s going to take some time. But the more you can step back from the situation and look at it from an outside perspective, the clearer things will become. Talk to me about uncertainty,” Grace said as she picked up her iced tea.

“I feel like I’m at this crossroad, I suppose,” he answered, sounding very un-Gibbs like.

“Because of what’s happened in the last 48 hours?” Grace asked.

“Not because of what happened exactly but these last few days just seem like a catalyst or something.”

“Crossroad, catalyst, you’re using some awfully deep language, Popeye,” Grace teased.

“Yeah, let’s not forget deep breathing techniques and grounding exercises,” he added with a snort.

“Whoa, wait, deep breathing, yeah, you’ve certainly done that before, but grounding? Who the hell are you and what have you done with Gibbs?” Despite trying not to, Gibbs let out a loud laugh. “That’s what I wanted to hear,” Grace said with a small smile.

“The one where you count down from 5 to 1 and do the thing with the senses.” Grace smiled at his explanation. “Jack did it with Phineas when he was having a rough time. Jack and I ended up doing it last night on the floor of my guest bathroom,” he admitted with a sigh.

“Ouch, really rough night?” Grace asked, genuinely concerned.

“Rough, yeah but no puking if that’s what you were getting at. The same can’t be said for the night with Finn. Poor kid.”

“So back to this crossroad situation,” Grace said, pivoting the conversation back a few minutes.

“Yeah. Like I said to Jack, I’m well into my 60’s and maybe it’s time to seriously consider retirement. I’m getting too old for this. Physically and otherwise,” he said as he tapped his knee and his temple.

“That’s certainly a reasonable choice, given your age. But I know you well enough to know that can’t be the only reason,” Grace pointed out.

Gibbs took a minute to get his thoughts together before replying. “I’ve killed plenty of people over the years, even people I knew, but I think it’s going to take more time than I anticipated to move on from this.”

“Why do you think that? And, so what if it does take time, you got somewhere to be?” Grace asked as she picked up the second half of her sandwich. She knew Gibbs well enough to know when a “mouthful of wiseass” was appropriate.

“Because I can’t just forget and move on like nothing happened. There’s a 9 year old reminder of what I did. I almost wish that Finn just didn’t want to hear from me.”

“No, you don’t,” Grace said as she reached out to briefly touch his hand. 

“True, I don’t. That kid’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time,” he said with a sad smile. 

“One of the best things,” Grace pointed out with a smirk. “But I am not ready to tackle your love life, or what you pass off as a love life. For that I will need liquor,” she laughed.

“Yeah, I’m not ready to try and figure it out either. But whatever it is, it works for Jack and I.”

“I know it does.”

“So now what?” Gibbs asked as he pushed the soup bowl to the end of the table, having given up on eating any more of it.

“We set up a regular schedule to meet. My office might be nice for a change,” she smirked. “You take the weekend to relax, alone or not, up to you. Table thoughts of retirement or any other big changes for a little while. See if the meds help you. And most of all, be gentle with yourself.”

“Yeah, not my strong suit.”

“Obviously. And remember that you are loved. Let your friends and co-workers help you, don’t push them away,” Grace urged. 

“Got it,” Gibbs said with a smile.

They made a little small talk while Grace finished eating. He told her about Jack’s success in staying quiet and about the projects he and Finn had been working on in the basement. Grace asked a few questions about Ziva and Gibbs told her about his conversations with Tony and seeing the family together over Skype. He promised to have Jack send her the picture of the little family. Which of course lead to some teasing by Grace about his lack of a smart phone.

Eventually the alarm on Grace’s phone went off and she needed to excuse herself to get to her next appointment. She made a half-hearted attempt at paying for her food but Gibbs waved off her effort with a little glare.

“You take care, Popeye,” she said as she squeezed his shoulder before heading for the door.

“Thanks, Doc,” he said with a genuine smile.

With the diner basically empty, Gibbs ordered another drink and put on his glasses to finish reading the newspaper.


	9. Chapter 9

Jack made it until 4:00 without checking in with Gibbs. She called and got him as he was walking into the pharmacy. 

“Hey, made it longer than I thought,” he teased as he answered her call. “Leroy Gibbs,” he said to the pharmacy tech behind the counter as he held the phone away from his mouth.

“Well, checking in quickly would be a hell of a lot easier if you would get a damn smart phone so I could just text.”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll think about it,” he chuckled. “For Finn,” he added.

“Cute. Where are you?” she asked. She could hear people in the background, but it didn’t sound as noisy as the diner usually was.

“Pharmacy. And before you ask, it was fine,” he said quickly as he slid his card into the reader to pay.

“Well, fine isn’t really an answer but I’ll take it for now, since you’re about to be in your truck, which is sadly lacking Bluetooth,” she teased.

“How about we catch up later?” Gibbs offered, surprising Jack. “You still at work?”

“Yeah, finishing up some things. Cold cases today. Made some progress on a few.”

“Maybe I’ll swing by,” he offered as he slid into his truck and started the engine.

“No way. We’re wrapping up.”

“Wrapping up, it’s not even 4:30?” he snorted.

“Well, the slave driver boss was off today so we’re cutting out early,” Jack teased.

“You heading home?”

“Yeah. Have to run a few errands. You want to come over later?” she asked, unsure of how he would answer.

“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll bring dinner,” he offered. “About 7:30, if that’s okay. Just finished up at the diner a while ago so I’m not exactly hungry.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you later then. Bye Gibbs.”

“Bye Jack.”

******

While Jack ran her errands, Gibbs went home and wandered around a bit, not really finding anything to hold his attention. He read for a little while, bundled up the recycling and took out the trash. When that was done he went upstairs to look for something to kill some time. His put the clean sheets back in the twin bed and sat on the window seat for a little while, staring out over the street, lost in his own thoughts. After getting glance in the mirror when he went into his room, he decided that changing out of the faded jeans and gray fleece he was wearing might be nice. 

“Good God,” he muttered as he stood in front of the closet trying to decide what to wear to hang out at Jack’s place. “Pull it together Marine,” he chuckled lightly. He grabbed a shirt, one he vaguely remembered Jack commenting on, something about the blue plaid and his blue eyes. He unbuttoned it and was about to pull it on when he realized it really could stand to be ironed. He padded downstairs in his gray pants and t-shirt to touch it up with the iron.

He plugged the iron in and filled it with some water from the bottle he’d left on the kitchen table earlier. As he picked up the iron he was reminded of the crack Phineas had made about never seeing him iron. He set it back down and found his cell phone on the counter. When Finn answered he put the phone on speaker and talked while he ironed.

They had a nice little conversation with Finn teasing him about ironing and telling him about his day. His uncle had promised him a trip into the city to see Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell over the weekend and he was really excited. With a promise to text pictures of Philadelphia to Jack so they could see them, Finn hung up, his aunt was calling him for dinner.

Gibbs ordered the Chinese food and headed out to Jack’s place a little before 7:00. He’d debated packing a bag but in the end he decided against it. He did shove his laptop in his backpack, he had some pictures to show to Jack.

*******

Meanwhile at Jack’s place she was having a very similar fashion crisis. She stood in front of her closet in her bathrobe for more time than she would ever admit. She finally decided on burgundy leggings and an oversized cream colored sweater.

She was finishing up her hair when she heard the buzzer. She pushed the button to let Gibbs in the front door and took a deep breath, chiding herself for feeling like a love sick teenager.

“Hey,” Jack said as she opened the door to find Gibbs there, backpack thrown over one shoulder, carrying two bags of food. 

“Hi,” Gibbs said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek, just as natural as could be.

He stepped further into the foyer and handed Jack the food. He let his backpack slide to the floor and he pushed it out of the way with his foot. “Nice shirt,” she said as he slipped off his Carhartt jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. She turned to take the food into the kitchen and Gibbs smiled to himself, feeling very much like a teenage boy.

They ate at the kitchen table, chatting about the cold cases Jack had worked on during the day and Gibbs’ phone call with Phineas. Gibbs also booted up his computer to show Jack a few pictures Tony had sent earlier in the day. Jack was careful not to not to bring up Grace and his appointment. And there was little chance of Gibbs just bringing it up out of the blue.

“Appetite’s a little better,” Jack pointed out as he actually seemed to be enjoying his food.

“Yeah, gut’s a little better today. And I made it through the day without a nap, so that’s something.”

“Another two days’ of rest and you should be ready to go back to work,” Jack replied, her voice a little too cheery.

“Great,” Gibbs said, mocking her tone. “I know you’re dying to ask,” he said simply as he stood up to clear the table.

“I am, but I’m not going to push,” Jack said as she reached for the bottle of Bourbon on the counter. “You want some?”

“No, I’m good,” Gibbs answered after thinking about it for a few seconds. Jack changed her mind and put the Bourbon back on the counter.

“Not as much fun drinking alone,” she smiled as she grabbed the tea kettle to fill it up.

Gibbs grabbed two mugs out of the dish drainer and set the sugar bowl and a spoon next to Jack’s.

“So, you want to hear about it?” Gibbs asked a few minutes later, after they settled down on the couch with their tea.

“If you want. I’m not pushing,” Jack said as she turned sideways on the couch, resting her arm against the back, letting her fingers brush over his shoulder.

“Not a whole lot to tell, I suppose. We didn’t uh, get down and dirty, as Grace put it. Just got me to list some of the many emotions running through my brain. Grace was pretty surprised I was able to name about 5 of them off the top of my head,” Gibbs smirked. “We need to work on my feelings of guilt and some of the uncertainty. Wants to meet regularly. Couldn’t exactly argue with anything she said. Like you, encouraged me to keep in touch with Finn, let him decide what he wants.”

“She reminded you that your feelings are yours and you have every right to feel whatever it is you feel?”

“Interesting sentence structure there Sloane, but yes. And as you know, that’s not exactly my strong suit,” he pointed out as he set his mug of the coffee table.

“Yeah, I know. But you’re getting better at realizing that,” Jack assured him as she rubbed his shoulder a bit.

“It’s still all pretty surreal,” Gibbs sighed, letting his head fall back, staring at the ceiling. 

“Yeah, it is,” Jack whispered as she scooted a little closer to him, tentatively holding out her hand to him. He took it without a second thought. She ran her other hand through his hair as he continue to stare at the ceiling. “What did she say about the meds?”

“Agreed with Ducky’s assessment and suggestions. She did talk to him before she met with me. Surprised she didn’t call you.”

“Well, we try to not really talk about you. Well that came out wrong, we talk about you, we just don’t talk about your…your feelings and stuff,” Jack spit out a little too quickly.

“I am sure you talk about me in general,” he teased. “But my feelings and stuff, yeah probably a good thing you don’t talk about that. I know what you mean, I get it. I’d love to not talk about my feelings,” he snorted as he stood up to walk around a little.

“Well, not the best idea,” Jack agreed.

Gibbs paced the small living room, while Jack picked her phone up off the coffee table to check her text messages. She let him be for a few minutes but was on the verge of saying something when he finally talked.

“You feel like a walk? I’m feeling a little…a little in need of some fresh air,” he muttered.

“Gibbs, you okay?” Jack asked as she stood up and put a hand on his arm. He stopped his pacing and to Jack’s surprise, let her pull him into a hug. She rubbed his back while he took a few deep breaths.

“Am I okay? Not really, but I’m not about to self-destruct or anything like that,” he answered, knowing that his usual one word answer of ‘fine’ wasn’t going to cut it with Jack, on top of not exactly being true. 

“Walk sounds fine,” she assured him. She grabbed her coat as he put the mugs in the sink.

They headed down in the elevator in only slightly awkward silence. Jack’s place was in DC proper and the location more than made up for her lack of space. Two blocks north of Union Station, she was in walking distance of many things and with the Metro at Union Station she could easily get around the city. 

Jack pulled on her hat and mittens while she stood next to Gibbs’ truck as he rooted around for some gloves. He found a pair and he grabbed his hat which was sitting on bench seat.

The headed south on North Capitol St towards the US Capitol, making a left onto Columbus Circle and cutting through to Delaware Ave. It was a little chilly but the wind from earlier in the day had died down. Gibbs was quiet but that wasn’t surprising. The fresh air seemed to be helping him calm down a little, his pace slowed as they walked along the east side of the Capitol. They stood and admired the marble façade for a minute before continuing on, following the path which lead around to the other side of the Capitol building. They cut between the Reflecting Pool and the West Lawn, admiring the Christmas tree on the way. 

Gibbs steered them in the direction of the Reflecting Pool. He took one glove off to grab two coins out of his pocket, handing one to Jack to toss into the water. 

“So what did you wish for?” Jack asked as they stood watching the water for a minute. She put her hand on his back and her head on his shoulder. 

“Peace,” he whispered as he threw his arm around her and pressed a kiss to her temple. His answer, one single word, tore at her heart.

“I hope you find it,” Jack whispered as she wiped away a few tears with her mitten.

“Thanks,” Gibbs whispered back. “For everything,” he added as he took Jack’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And just like that...it's over.
> 
> I can't thank everyone enough for your kudos, comments and support throughout this story. Like I said before, I figured this would be a relatively short story but it took on a life of its own and I have enjoyed every minute.

**Author's Note:**

> According to a picture on Jack Fisher's instagram, Mark Harmon gave him the knife I described in the story. A completely sweet gesture which made me love Mark even more!!


End file.
